Attachment Parenting / BondingBabiesChild development

New Moms Need Social Support

By Darcia Narvaez, PhD

Community heals and helps mom and baby

By Maria Guzman

Growing up my mom always joked with me, “I wish you could have stayed a baby.” She loved that I needed her, that she could hug and kiss me infinitely without my complaints. But most of all, she jokes her favorite thing was the attention she received. We were lucky to live in a neighborhood in Mexico City with extended family living close by. She had sisters to take care of me, friends to spend time with us in our home, and lots of other new mothers to bond with over their children.

There’s no need to express how stressful being a new mother can be. Albeit a joyful time, taking care of a child and recovering physically from childbirth can be emotionally draining. But the image my mother always paints is one of a community that supported her and loved her and probably gave her the energy she needed to be a better mom.

There is an overwhelming amount of research that shows how important social support is for dealing with stress in general.[i][ii] A research group in University of Chicago compiled the information from 66 different studies and found this to be the case. It’s not surprising that social support helps people manage stress. If we know we have people to talk to or to turn to for help in difficult times we are more ready to face these challenges without burning out.

We see the same trend in research that focuses on mothers.[iii] Support from friends and family help new mothers deal better with stress, and this has been proven to help mothers see their children in a more positive light. Mother’s who have the help of people they trust feel more self-esteem, confidence as a parent, and struggle less to access information that helps them problem-solve for their bundle of joy.

What does this mean for parents? The University of Chicago study also found something more surprising: stressful events tend to decrease the amount of social support someone receives. Because of stressful experiences, our natural reaction may be to withdraw, to put less effort into these relationship, even though they are precisely what will make us feel better! Parents may be overwhelmed with the tasks ahead of them and tempted to spend less time with friends and family. But this is precisely what they shouldn’t do. The more parent surround themselves and their baby with loving social support the healthier and happier the baby will grow up to be.

References

[i] Piper, L. J. (2006). Stressors, social support, and stress reactions: A meta-analysis. University of North Texas). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, , 120-120 p. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/305294319?accountid=12874. (305294319).

[ii] Joseph, S., Dalgleish, T., Thrasher, S., & Yule, W. (1995). Crisis support and emotional reactions following trauma. Crisis Intervention & Time-Limited Treatment, 1(3), 203-208. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/619055183?accountid=12874

[iii] Andresen, P. A., & Telleen, S. L. (1992). The relationship between social support and maternal behaviors and attitudes: A meta-analytic review.American Journal of Community Psychology, 20(6), 753-774. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/618341659?accountid=12874

See new book on early experience:

Narvaez, D., Panksepp, J., Schore, A., & Gleason, T. (Eds.) (2013). Evolution, Early Experience and Human Development: From Research to Practice and Policy. New York: Oxford University Press. Blog post about the book here.

Darcia Narvaez, PhD

Darcia Narvaez is a Professor of Psychology Emerita at the University of Notre Dame. She is the founder of the public and professional educational outreach project The Evolved Nest Initiative whose nonprofit mission is to share her science research into developing appropriate baselines for lifelong human wellness by meeting the biological needs of infants. This wellness-informed baseline is imperative at this time as the United States ranks 41st out of 41 developed countries in public policies that support families.

In a 2020 analysis of top scientists, Narvaez emerged in the top 2% of scientists worldwide. Of the eight million scientists in the world, the analysis concerned those who had at least five articles published in scientific journals between 1996 and 2017-- over six million scientists. Individuals were ranked according to various criteria, including number of citations of their work.

In 2022, she was named a fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science(AAAS), the largest international body of professional scientists in the world and publisher of the prestigious journal Science. Narvaez was honored for her distinguished contributions illuminating typical and atypical development in terms of well-being, morality and sustainable wisdom. Narvaez examines how early life experience — the “evolved nest” — influences moral functioning and well-being in children and adults. She integrates evolutionary, anthropological, neurobiological, clinical, developmental and education sciences in her work. The election of AAAS fellows is an honor bestowed upon members by their peers.

Narvaez’s book, Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality: Evolution, Culture and Wisdom, was chosen for the 2017 Expanded Reason Award from among more than 360 total entries from 170 universities and 30 countries. Narvaez received the prize, including a substantial monetary award, at the Pontifical Academy of Sciences in Vatican City on September 27, 2017. The book also received the William James Award from the American Psychological Association in 2015.

Narvaez hosted interdisciplinary conferences at the University of Notre Dame regarding early experience and human development in 2010, 2012, and 2014. In 2016 she organized a conference on Sustainable Wisdom: Integrating Indigenous KnowHow for Global Flourishing. (Click on the links to see the full conferences in video on the Evolved Nest's YouTube Channel.)

She is the author or editor of numerous books and articles, see The Science page for listings.

She is the president of the venerable American nonprofit, Kindred World, a contributing editor to Kindred, the first global eco-parenting magazine, an advisory board member of Attachment Parenting International and the Association for Pre- and Perinatal Psychology and Health, APPPAH.

Her recent book, Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality: Evolution, Culture and Wisdom (2014), won the 2015 William James Book Award from the American Psychological Association, as well as the 2017 Expanded Reason Award. She is former executive editor of the Journal of Moral Education.

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