This is part of a series of true birth stories excerpted from the book “The First Breath”, compilation and photography by Katrina Folkwell. Katrina believes that each story read will touch hearts and profoundly help others in their own journey of entering labour and birth. For some, the stories may help heal what has already passed.
We have been blessed by another member to our tribe. At 6:10 am on July 3rd, our beautiful Rain Gardener joined us, weighing 8 pounds and 10 ounces, and was 21 inches long. He was conceived during a rain storm and born during one, and we chose the name Gardener to honour Kevin’s sweet father. We are so high right now … so blessed and in love and amazed and wondering how we’re going to do this new balancing act. It seems that love is the only way to work this all out so we are staying in that love space and enjoying our new little one so much.
The birthing was so beautiful, it stretched out over a couple of days and nights, but was only heavy for 12 hours, which is nice compared to the 60 hour labour l had with my first child, River.
I started having contractions at 3:00 am Saturday morning, but as soon as River woke up, they stopped. I had a few contractions throughout the day and then at 5:00 pm it started coming on again with a lot of strength. We called our friends Maggie and Danny who have a 3 month-old little honey named Cloe and they came and loved me down and helped entertain River who was so excited and good.
When things really started to pick up, we called Elisabeth, our midwife, and our good friend Astra and her 3 month-old son named Banjo. Astra is Elisabeth’s apprentice. Katrina, our birthing photographer and support person arrived as well, so that including Rain and ourselves, there were 11 people present. It was so perfect, so healing for all, so beautiful.
Having such wonderful sisters around me and babies and sweet men kept it light. We would all be on our bed talking and I would hold up my hand to indicate that a contraction was coming and we would all focus and breath and then we’d all start talking again about love and birth and wonderful things.
The midwife checked me after a while and told me that I was 8 centimetres, and it was great. Then things got heavy. I later learned that it had turned to a dark moon right at that moment! Things started to get intense and I left my body for a while. Danny sat on the couch opposite our bed in total meditation for 2 hours after chanting. It was so real yet surreal. My cervix was fully dilated everywhere else except the anterior lip wouldn’t give way, just like with River. I tried for hours to let it dilate, I went inward, I talked to my cervix, l asked it to thin, the whole time I had such an urge to push but couldn’t because I wasn’t fully dilated. Then everyone got serious with me and told me to get up, walk, squat, get on all fours so I was doing a lot of that and it was working, making it more intense.
I asked to be left alone and went within myself and the baby.
Everyone had done so much with me until that point. Maggie has amazing hands and massaged me, Astra had put hot towels on my legs and belly, Katrina held me and rubbed my feet, Elisabeth loved me like a mother, Danny meditated and kept it grounded, and Kevin, oh, sweet Kevin, did everything he could for me. He is so amazing, that one.
Anyway, I focused myself and started pushing and grunting and roaring. By this point, Danny had meditated himself into a deep slumber and was completely passed out on the couch and it amazed me that someone could sleep during a labouring woman’s force. He told me about his dreams that he had while I was in the zone and they were incredible. It made me laugh to see our brother asleep while I was in such an intense space.
Maggie came up and helped me down the stairs to the bathroom, where I sat on the toilet. It was 6:00 am at that point and we knew River would wake soon. He was curled up on the bed downstairs with the babies, Banjo and Cloe. Just imagine how sweet that was, whenever one of them would cry, three parents would go running. Anyway, Kevin was with me while I sat on the pot. I looked up at him and said, “Go ask the midwife for a laxative, I’m constipated.” He ran out and then ran back in and said, “All the women out there just smiled and said that you’re not constipated. They said it’s the baby’s head.” I could feel his head with my fingers, still being held back by the cervix, but when the next contraction came I pushed so hard that his head flew past my cervix and boom, he was crowning.
We called the midwife in and she said it’s time to get upstairs. Ugh, walking up the stairs with baby crowning is no easy task. So I walked up, got on the birthing stool and pushed out his head almost instantly. At this point, Kevin was incredible. He grabbed some apricot oil and started rubbing my perineum. The midwife sat back and watched. He put his hand under Rain’s head, and everyone was amazed that it was happening so fast.
I was so excited that his head was out that I pushed his body out right after, without having a contraction. Kevin caught him, and I threw my head back and laughed with pure joy. Then I reached down and took my son into my arms.
Oh, the love. Kevin started to sob, everyone in the room was crying except for me. I was laughing! It was so amazing! Kevin says it wasn’t so much that he caught his son, but he caught this pure being of light and love and was so overwhelmed that he couldn’t do anything but cry.
River woke up right when Kevin caught Rain, and as he handed the new one to me, he ran and got River, who got to see his brother in my arms, so new to the world. It was so beautiful, so beautiful.
The placenta came out right after, with total grace and ease. I did it! I am so happy, I’m crying now.
This little one has six planets in Cancer (Sun, moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, True node) and his rising sign is as well. He’s my little sensitive water baby. What an appropriate name for this little Cancer, eh? Good thing he’s a dragon as well(Chinese sign). So all is wonderful and now we are adjusting to having two. It’s going to be a challenge, but love will pull us through.
We have tons of support and food coming our way, and our landlord got us 2 weeks of nappy service as a gift. We are so glad that we birthed in Australia, even though we missed our last birthing team and midwife. This birthing was so healing for everyone here, we are so blessed.
Rain is doing so well, and we are inspired by the beauty of it all. I have come to the realisation that it is my destiny to raise sweet, loving, sensitive, strong men.
What can I say? I’ve always loved being surrounded by guys.
